I usually do not like to post about things like this because I am a very private individual. But, this morning and for a few days I have been compelled to write about this.
My Jewish faith: Was my family religious? No. Not in the least bit. We attended NO synagogues in my youth, save a couple of times. We were invited to many Jewish events, true. But, Jewish by FAITH? No. My family only knew that ‘we came from the Jewish people’. We were, after all, Sephardic, Portuguese/Israeli, Hebrew people who hid in the Azores during the Spanish inquisition.
My faith….Just what is it?
My friend invited me to church when I was 23 years old. I believed that God was about POWER. Supernatural power. So, I went to this church and the Pastor asked if I wanted to be ‘saved’. I figured…Sure. Why not. So, I raised my hands to be ‘saved’. (I didn’t know just what the frick that meant, LOL) So, when I went into the back room with this lady, she told me to sit down and then asked me: “Do you believe that Jesus died and rose from the dead?” I, not really knowing a thing about Jesus at all said “Yeah”. I figured, why not? So, I left the church and now believed there was a “Jesus”. Who he was or what he was? I didn’t know at all.
The next day, I went to work and told everyone; “IM SAVED”. (I didn’t know what I was saved from). Many of my work friends asked: “What?” “What are you saved from?” I didn’t know. LOL. But, the way I said “I don’t know” was what was hysterical. I said “I don’t f’cking know”. RIGHT THERE AND THEN, when I said “I don’t f’cking know“…. A conviction came upon me that was so great and powerful. That conviction said: “You will not talk this way anymore.” I obeyed that conviction thereafter.
I went to church but I saw NO power. I wanted to see this Supernatural God and his power. My friend had gotten ‘saved’ and he asked me: “Wanna go to my church?” So, I went…And, it was POWERFUL. The music was SO powerful and so blessed that I felt like I couldnt even stand up. That’s how powerful it was. I remember people who were really sick becoming ‘unsick’ after they got prayed for. It was wonderful to witness.
TIME CAME AND WENT AND THE CHURCH FELL APART.
So, the people were scattered as was I. Then I met my now closest friend, Pricilla. We had Bible studies in our apartment with a few people and we studied the Bible. We were intrigued and fascinated by the “Old Testament”. Pricilla is a lost Sephardic Spanish Jew also. So, we began going to the Synagogue in town. We went to their Passovers, Shabbat’s and so forth. It felt so good to be part of our ‘family’. Of course, we knew that the Jews at the synagogue didnt believe in Jesus but we didnt care. We just wanted our identity! We wanted to be around fellow Jews. They didnt ask us about how we believed and we didnt ask them anything. We just stayed and loved our fellow Jews. NO, we didnt go to the J4J’s nor did we attend Messianic synagogues. God kept us away from it. Why? I dont know.
THEN, I met my husband David years later. David Ben Moshe. Wow… The spirit of God had brought me back to my people in marrying my David. It was a wonderful, blessed situation. I was so in love with him…that I would do anything for him. My husband is a GEM. He was so respectful of my modesty, too. I didnt want to have sexual relations until we were married and he LOVED that about me. GOD IS GOOD!
David went to Hebrew school in NYC, attended the synagogue every Fri and Sat, etc. He had his Bar Mitzvah. But, he also became disenchanted with the faith because he saw no power. So, he stopped believing.
One night, I had a dream about Abraham. Yes, Abraham, the father of our faith. In my dream, Abraham told me: (Paraphrasing) “Pauli, do not ever push my son, David TO God. Do not demand he believe like you. In Gods timing, your husband will be open to God again.“
Me and David have had SO many miracles in and around our life. NO, I have NOT pushed David. To this day. Sure, I read the Bible to him at night but mostly stories he is familiar with. HE LOVES Prophecies and the book of Proverbs.
I opened my website and named it “The Mad Jewess” FOR my husband. I have been IN the fight against Jew hate for almost 15 years online. I would do anything for our people. (Save Leftist “Jews”).
Thats my life, in a nutshell 🙂